Post by seedian on Jul 10, 2010 19:41:30 GMT -5
Gabriel strolled through the cemetery. Most people didn't hang around such places and the visitors that came did so to pay respects but they never stayed long. It was a place Gabriel could go to truly think and contemplate how he really felt. He struggled everyday trying to understand the answers to everything, the reasoning, the logic of the people around him. He wanted nothing more than to know so that he could help change things for the better. Things came easy to Gabriel and some people looked to him because through all the chaos and confrontation and uncertainties Gabriel stood with his head high, eyes open wide, ready to find the truth and ready to give at the very least hope. Gabriel unlike he showed others though did in fact have many problems.
He could never walk away from a challenge without knowing the answers initially sought after or without knowing the truth. But that was more of a minor problem as opposed to his other. He wanted to believe so much in his heart that everyone had at least a spark of good within them. That he could help everyone, save everyone, whether it be from the world around them or themselves. And every failure, every mystery unsolved, every time he failed it killed him inside. The sadness that he buried within him came out more especially in his eyes in this place. He looked at each grave with this sadness wondering how with so much ability he could do so little. It wasn't his responsibility for other peoples happiness but he never could figure out how to just walk away.
Gabriel stood in his faded jeans, dark blue t-shirt, his worn boots his hands in his pockets staring at a gravestone he had researched many times. A murder, unsolved, no leads, no answers. He saw many like this and each one made him feel worse and worse about how he wasn't even given a chance to help them. He wondered if he was around, if he was there, could he have helped. He believed he could have at least found the truth. A seeker of truth, a beacon of hope to some, a brilliant detective to be he wanted to do away with the burdens of the world but he understood the impossibility of accomplishing it just himself alone. Perhaps was the reason he felt the need to help others so much because he knew without them his dreams could never be fulfilled.
But beneath his clever and wit, his apparent cheerful and kind nature, even further beneath his sadness and uncertainty, there lay a monster dormant. A monster that constantly haunted him. No matter how much good he did how could he save people from himself. When he transformed it was unlike anything he could explain. It was like an induced hallucination beyond anything humanly possible. Trying to stay in control, focused, trying to stay Gabriel was unbelievably difficult as his senses went wild, urges bombarded him, instincts tried taking over, and through all the chaos it was impossible to think only pain and a force that seems stronger than gravity tugging away at Gabriels mind as if someone was pouring acid on it. Noises so loud, eyes too focus, smells too strong things always ended up in pieces, flashes, fragments it seemed impossible. Gabriel seeks so hard to figure out how his dad can usually keep control of himself. How could Gabriel every hope to be happy with something like that within him? How could a force so evil do any good at all?
He could never walk away from a challenge without knowing the answers initially sought after or without knowing the truth. But that was more of a minor problem as opposed to his other. He wanted to believe so much in his heart that everyone had at least a spark of good within them. That he could help everyone, save everyone, whether it be from the world around them or themselves. And every failure, every mystery unsolved, every time he failed it killed him inside. The sadness that he buried within him came out more especially in his eyes in this place. He looked at each grave with this sadness wondering how with so much ability he could do so little. It wasn't his responsibility for other peoples happiness but he never could figure out how to just walk away.
Gabriel stood in his faded jeans, dark blue t-shirt, his worn boots his hands in his pockets staring at a gravestone he had researched many times. A murder, unsolved, no leads, no answers. He saw many like this and each one made him feel worse and worse about how he wasn't even given a chance to help them. He wondered if he was around, if he was there, could he have helped. He believed he could have at least found the truth. A seeker of truth, a beacon of hope to some, a brilliant detective to be he wanted to do away with the burdens of the world but he understood the impossibility of accomplishing it just himself alone. Perhaps was the reason he felt the need to help others so much because he knew without them his dreams could never be fulfilled.
But beneath his clever and wit, his apparent cheerful and kind nature, even further beneath his sadness and uncertainty, there lay a monster dormant. A monster that constantly haunted him. No matter how much good he did how could he save people from himself. When he transformed it was unlike anything he could explain. It was like an induced hallucination beyond anything humanly possible. Trying to stay in control, focused, trying to stay Gabriel was unbelievably difficult as his senses went wild, urges bombarded him, instincts tried taking over, and through all the chaos it was impossible to think only pain and a force that seems stronger than gravity tugging away at Gabriels mind as if someone was pouring acid on it. Noises so loud, eyes too focus, smells too strong things always ended up in pieces, flashes, fragments it seemed impossible. Gabriel seeks so hard to figure out how his dad can usually keep control of himself. How could Gabriel every hope to be happy with something like that within him? How could a force so evil do any good at all?